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The Man I thought I was Supposed To Marry…
Am I the only one who used to get in relationships and a few days later, run and tell my friends and my mama that I “think I found the one” or tell them “that I KNOW FORSURE that this man is my husband”...? It got to the point where my mom was like, “Look boo…I’m not meeting anymore boyfriends, until you are serious”. After a few breakups and all these “imaginary” soon-to-be husbands didn’t work out, I knew it was time to get out of my own way and let God work. Before this change occurred in my mind, I almost married the wrong guy. Let me tell you a little bit about the danger of lingering soul ties and how important it is to break those jokers before they become hazardous to your life.
When I was 17 years old I met a guy who I thought was my “first love” my freshman year in college. I fell in what I thought was “love” and my heart was broke when he transferred to play football at a Division I school. We broke up, but I kept hope that we would reunite. For years after we broke up I kept a spot in my heart for him, even though I was dating, had a few relationships, my soul was clearly still tied to his. A soul tie is an emotional bond or connection that unites you with someone else. They can be formed from relationships, sex before marriage etc. It seemed like no matter what I did to get rid of these feelings he would pop back up in my life (not showing any real interest) but nevertheless I would think…"Oh, he called to wish me happy birthday, maybe there is still something there”. Girl bye! Anyway…I was tormented by thoughts of him, and it didn’t help that everyone would remind me how well he was doing...
As I grew in my walk with Christ, he was no longer in the forefront of my mind but I would be lying if I said I didn’t do “social media checkups” or respond to some of his messages. Fast forward to 7 years later…yes, SEVEN YEARS. He came back into my life and at this point he was playing in the NFL, developing his relationship with Christ, and (((looking for a wife))). I thought Oh my! I must be her! I called my mom, bestfriends and went into serious prayer. One night when I was in prayer the holy spirit put him on my heart and I thought okay this is my husband. I even told him that God showed me he was my husband. (YIKES!)
(DISCLAIMER: If God ever reveals your husband, please do not say anything to that man. Let God reveal that information to him.)
Anyway it appeared that things were lining up. But the number one thing that was not lining up was the fact that he did not pursue me and the peace of God was not in it. I initiated everything in that relationship. He didn’t make any effort in getting to know the “grown” me, everything felt forced. He would often cut off contact with me for weeks at a time and I would think..."I’m about to go ring shopping with a man like this???". So after months of confusion I went into prayer and I asked God, to show me what was going on, and he told me to “lay it down”. He said that I had stepped out of my role and it was time for me to move on. At this point I was SO relieved. God is not a God of confusion, but of peace. Deep down I knew he wasn’t the one, but more importantly I knew that soul tie had to be broke. I prayed and verbally asked God to break that tie on my end and his. It was a supernatural experience where I immediately felt that weight off of me. Sometimes God will bring people or relationships into your life that don't last or aren't quite right for you for the sole purpose of allowing you to use that experience in the future to be grateful for what he has in store. There were many times I questioned why God didn't allow a relationship to work out when there were so many "signs" it was meant to be. Truth is…anytime you think you are missing out on something good, you are being redirected to something great. Something that will allow you to look back and praise God that, that situation had an expiration date.
I wanted to share this story with you, because I am so grateful for all the relationships that didn't work out so better ones could fall into place. For all the doors God forced shut because he knew I would never voluntarily close them. For allowing my "ex's" to be examples of the type of man he didn't want in my life. I am so incredibly grateful! I know a lot of people have past relationships that they can’t quite let go of... I want you to know that you have to be emotionally ready for who God has for you and that starts with giving him all your baggage and past hurts. God introduced me to my fiancé shortly after this because I was emotionally ready for him. I asked God to reveal anyone that my soul was tied to and after writing down the names I asked him to break those ties and believed they were broken.
God is so faithful, he eagerly takes up our burdens so we can be free and rest in him. I want to encourage you to do this life changing exercise and pray so you can be completely free in your future relationships. Guard your heart from things that spark nostalgia or remembrance of a person and Let GO..
You are free in Christ.
Flaws & All,
Repent, Ask for forgiveness. Ask God to cleanse you and make you pure. Thank God for his forgiveness. Say [ In Jesus mighty name, I ask you to cut any and all ungodly soul ties with_______ I thank you that the tie is broken right now in Jesus name]
(Pray Pslam 51)